Text me maybe?
by harenai
Summary: Erik didn't get drunk. Ever. EVER. So... why did Charles just receive a MMS of Erik's fully erected dick?


Friday Night.

The rest of the gang was out celebrating the epic arrival of Alex's 'coming of age', AKA, the day he finally gets to legally drink and go out to clubs/bars and gets himself completely screwed over.

It was a rite of passage. Hank's birthday came earlier during the year. He didn't want anything fancy –not that Charles would call going to a bar fancy in the first place— so it was a humble dinner party of sorts with a little alcohol with a game night of playing Life throw in. During which, Sean and Alex –they played in pairs—had won the game and Sean had forgot to tone down a tad when he released a victory cry. You can guess what happened library glass windows.

They moved to a next room.

Somehow, the night managed to end with everyone roasting marshmallows over Charles' tiny little indoor marshmallow heater thing and then in a drunk fit, throwing it all over the living room. Three helpers were called in the next day to scrub out every last bit of gooey sticky heaven from the carpet and walls and the kids were banned from ever celebrating birthdays in the mansion again.

Thus, Alex's birthday would be spent in a not too shabby but really not all that grand sort of motel which a decent bar. They would be spending the night there. This made sure they would all have the proper amount of rest to recover from the hangovers Charles was sure they would be hit with. (Sean had managed to get Angel and himself fake identities so that they could drink illegally.)

Charles was back at the mansion looking through the list of mutants they had picked up from Cerebro just that morning. There were a handful of them, all so very bright and brilliant. He could feel just how confused and scared most of them were, like docile dears thrown into a forest of wild beasts. He wants to bring them all home, protect them, teach them, guide them. He supposed he's just always wanted kids. Which did explain the whole mutant family thing he and Erik had going on. Okay, maybe just him. He couldn't really say Erik was in on it because it didn't really seem like Erik wanted to have anything to do with them sometimes.

No, he wasn't phrasing it right. It just seemed that while Charles sometimes felt as though he was playing a parental role, more so the mother role than anything due to his kinder, gentler nature. And even though most of the children treated Erik as a father figure, due to his brasher, more domineering personality, Charles had hoped that by them playing House, his and Erik's relationship would deepen and eventually had lead to… you know, more exciting stuff.

But it didn't.

And no endless amount of much too emotional conversations in the library over chess, no amount of trying to douse the heartless idiot with alcohol to even get him just a little bit tipsy so that he could make his move— none of that seemed to work! Which was a bad thing because Charles was good when it came to alcohol and flirting. And Erik just didn't get drunk. Ever.

So that's how Erik ended up babysitting the rascals while Charles worked on planning the trip to gather the other mutants. Erik had protested, but Charles agreed to let the metal bender have the gym entirely to himself for the next one week if he agreed to do so. Besides, Charles was honestly rather excited on the road trips so he wanted to get them all sorted out as soon as possible.

Charles chewed on his pen, looking through the results from Cerebro and occasionally glancing at his laptop for geographical location details. He circled a few names on the paper and then scribbled down country names by the side so he wouldn't forget. He worked on it for a good half hour, and then his phone buzzed.

**Message, Erik **

(Oh. So soon? That's a surprise. It hadn't even hit twelve yet, they couldn't have all knocked themselves out already, could they?  
He slid his finger across the screen.)

**Erik: **_I don't see the point of me being here._

(Charles couldn't help but smile. Typical Erik.)

**Charles:** _Hello, Erik._  
_You're there because the children like you and Alex specifically requested that you would be there. You know, he looks up to you the most out of all of them. I think you're like the father he never had. Besides, you get the gym entirely to yourself without having any of them running in and ruining your workout halfway through._  
_Also, isn't it wonderful to spend some time bonding as a family?_

(He put his phone down and got back to work. A half minute later, it buzzed again.)

**Erik:** _Hm, yes. As a family. Anyway, I don't see the point of me being here if you're not going to be here. Raven's hitting on Hank, again. The idiot is blinder than a blind man born blind and that's saying a lot. What am I doing here?_

(Oh, _now_he thinks about Charles. Only when the telepath wasn't there to keep him company. That was nice. )

**Charles:**_ You're there so no one ends up destroying anything or worse, end up killing someone while drunk. I trust that you'll do a good job at it considering the fact that you've never gotten drunk, in your life. Or rather I just haven't seen it. So I doubt that'll be happening tonight as a start._(After that, Erik didn't reply and Charles successfully managed to get to work for the next one hour. When the next message came in, it was half an hour pass midnight. )

**Erik: **_If there was a competition for highest amount of awkwardness and intensity in a boy's coming of age party, this one would win, hands down. The group is just standing around doing nothing and some asshole just came up to hit on me. What the hell am I doing here again?_

**Charles:** _You know why you're there for._

**Erik:** _And why can't you be here instead of me? I think I'd rather not use the gym for the next one week now, goddddd, I think I'm going to go flip some tables to cure my boredom._

Charles knew Erik didn't really mean it when he typed that, he was probably just trying to get a reaction from Charles. Charles set his phone down and went back to work. The night was still young and there was a colossal amount of names to go through.

Charles managed to plan the trip for the first three mutants. They were all situated in the same area and in New York too. Erik could drive, right? Yeah, driving would be a good idea then.

* * *

_Buzz._

**Message, Erik **

**Erik:** _Finally!_ _  
__They're actually drinking now, laughing and seemingly having a good time. Hank is trying vodka for the first time and that cringing face he is making is fucking priceless. Angel and Raven are dancing which is a good view for the boys, and for me. Sean is already slightly tipsy, hitting on women old enough to be his mother. It's kind of weirding me out, his eyes look funny._

(He laughed.)

**Charles:** _Well, good to know they're having a good time. Erik, I don't want to sound rude or off putting in any way, but you do know that you don't have to report to me, right? You're supposed to be out relaxing, having fun and all that. Being well…young!_

Erik didn't reply after that, and Charles wondered if he'd used the wrong word. Maybe 'young' wasn't quite right at conveying how he just wanted Erik to relax and stop being so tense all the time. Ah well.

When Charles came back from the kitchen, he set his cup of tea down and checked his phone.

**3 Messages, Erik **

**Erik:** _I'm not old._

**Erik:** _I'm not mad at you, in case you're wondering._

**Erik:** _Raven just flung her bra at Alex._

(Charles' eyes went wide. _What?)_

**Charles:** _How did she fling her bra at Alex? How the hell did that happen?_

(And then just as he sent it, he typed another message again.)

**Charles:** _I never thought you were old, I just wanted you to relax, that's all. And I never assumed you were mad at me, you're not that petty._

**Erik:** _I don't know how it happened, I wasn't looking. I'm guessing she just took her shirt off, unclasped her bra and threw it in Alex's face._ _  
__I think it was to piss Hank off. She got the reaction she wanted that's for sure. Hank paled and turned so red I almost thought he would break down and cry. We did manage to get her back in her shirt again though, but we lost the bra. Can't find it._

**Charles:** _How do you lose a bra in a bar? No, wait. Losing bras in bars are actually perfectly normal. I hope other men aren't giving her lustful looks now. Are they?_

**Erik:** _They're not. Everyone else in the bar is actually minding their own business, mostly. They are however wolf whistling at Angel who has decided to jump onto the table to dance. Alex is wolf whistling too, along with Sean. Darwin is trying to be you._

**Charles:** _What do you mean trying to be me?_

**Erik:** _He's trying to lecture Alex and Sean about them sexualizing a good friend the way they currently are and how bad it is._

**Charles:** _Oh._

**Erik:** _Oh wait, forget what I said. He just joined in._

Charles shook his head. Well that escalated quickly. One hour ago Erik was practically bored to death and look how things were now. At least he wasn't bored anymore so… that's good? His sister however had given the guys a handful of her naked form, although, it wasn't like they hadn't seen her naked before so that's alright, he supposed. Wasn't it? Angel though… _sigh._

* * *

_Buzz._

**Message, Erik .**

**Erik:** _What the fuck? Charles! On the list of things that were bound to happen, it did not include having to be dragged into dancing around the table and having Alex bridle carry Sean while shouting, "SIMBA!" and then having everyone else badly scream the tune of Circle of Life. Someone must have drugged the drinks because everyone is doing some tribal dance right now. And by everyone I fucking mean the whole bloody bar, every last person here._

(Charles laughed. He didn't know whether it was because of the crazy sounding scene at the bar or the way Erik had described things. )

**Erik:** _You need to get here right now, I am not lettinhflasjdf,,,,,,,,wwdfd''_

**Erik:** _Sorry that was Raven, your fucking bat shit crazy sister who decided to dunk my phone into her glass of whatever the hell she is drinking._

**Charles:** _It's alright. What were you going to say before that?_

**Erik:** _I was going to –_

**Erik:** _That same asshole that hit on me earlier? He came back to grab my ass. I had to haul him out to punch his dick face._

(Charles felt a spike of jealousy which he quickly reigned in and it settled. He carefully typed back.)

**Charles:** _Poor fella, Erik you didn't have to be so harsh on him._

**Erik: **_He grabbed my ass. Anyway, Charles you need to come here right now, pronto. The group is singing the worse rendition of Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody ever and we haven't hit the middle of the song yet. I'm pretty sure by the time we get there, Sean would have cracked the windows._

(Oh shit. That wasn't good.)

**Erik:** :)

**Erik:** That was Angel. I don't send smiley faces.

**Charles: **I was wondering about that. So has it cracked yet?

**Erik:** Lucky. You won't be paying extra for broken windows today.

(Charles smiled and continued on marking down the road names and flight date details. It was close to two when the next few messages came in. When he read it, he frowned at it, for the longest one he could ever remember staring at a phone screen.)

**Erik:** Hello darling, would you like to buy yourself some Erik today?

**Erik:** Normally though, it's reaaallly expensive. Like… $500000 for one day of Erik? But if you buy now, you get like a discount. Which is er…$50. That's cheap. Right? I can't count. My head hurts. Charles, Hank doesn't want to kiss me…WHY WON'T HE FUCKING KISS ME.

**Erik:** Fucking. Needless to say, that was Raven. I don't understand why she can't just use her own phone.

(Before Charles had the chance to reply, a message came in from his sister.)

**Raven:** FUCKING HANK. GODDD.

(Charles honestly had no idea what to make of that. Was she fucking him? Or did she mean she wanted to fuck him. Or was she just swearing now. Maybe this wasn't that good an idea, maybe they did need Charles to be there to monitor the situation or something.)

**Charles:** _Erik, how's the situation now? Is everything alright? Are you alright?_

**Erik:** _Everything's fine. Alex just did a somersault off from the bar counter. I didn't know he could do that. Hank has his hand on Raven's boob but I think he's foaming at the mouth a bit. I'm not really sure, my head feels a bit… heavy. But don't worry about it, everything's fine._

**Charles:** _Oh, that's good. I think._

Surely everything was alright. Once again, the fact that Erik didn't ever get drunk meant that if anything happened, Erik would be there to make sure everyone was safe. And yet why couldn't Charles shake the feeling that something horrible was going on at the bar.

A chill spread down his spine and he shook his head lightly, trying to brush off the horrid sense déjà vu that suddenly came about.

When he returned from the other side of the room, there were six messages now. Good lord, the messages were increasing every time he wandered off.

**Erik:**_ Alex is forcing me to drink some piss colored concoction he mixed. I bet it sucks. _

**Erik:** _Oh my god, Charles, I can't stop drinking this shit. It is so good, I swear._

(The middle message was from Hank)

**Hank:** _Professor, I think I just… you might already be asleep or something, but I would dearly like to apologize for grabbing your sister's boobs tonight. They were very… soft. And bouncy. I'm sorry. I'm really really really sorry!_

**Erik:** _Charles. Why aren't you here? The room is… getting kinda fuzzy._

**Erik:** _I feel warm._

**EriK**_: Heeeee._

Charles's jaw dropped a little at that. Was Erik… was Erik actually getting tipsy? Maybe drunk even! Like proper actual drunk! Oh no, wait, he needed to let Hank know it was okay to touch Raven's boobs first. No, WHAT? God, no, he actually allowed himself to get distracted with Erik's slight drunkenness. Okay, first message will be sent out to Hank and the next one to Erik.

**Hank:** _It's alright. But please, don't do it again. Thank you._

**Charles:** _Erik, are you actually drunk?_

He wouldn't want to miss Erik being drunk, not for the world. But the fact is that if Charles were there with him at that point in time, he knew he would definitely take advantage of Erik's drunkness. Laugh at him, laugh _with_ him, flirt, and then do a little bit of touching here and there. So when the next message came in, he felt his heart beat a little faster.

**Erik:** _I have no fucking iedea but I feel realy warm and I don't like it. Chalres, I really don't like it. I want to—_

**Erik:**_Darwin kissed some girl he just met. I'm jealouass._

**Erik:** _Charles, why aren't yuo here?_

**Erik:**_Dinosaurs._

**Charles:** _Oh, god. Erik, you're actually drunk! (And then upon remembering the kids, he added in) Are the kids going to be alright? Is anything happening?_

**Erik:** _oh thy're fineee. Although to be fiar… I'm twisting every other meatl obeject into dildos so I think you'd rather want to make your way down here right now. Like. Right. NOw._

Charles gulped. He didn't—he basically just didn't know what to do. His face felt hot and holy hell, he couldn't imagine what Erik was doing at the moment, bending every other metal object into a dildo, really? That was just—

**MMS, Erik **

Charles swore. He stared at his phone, hands shaking, and he bloody well swore.

"Fuck."

And he had every fucking right to swear because you do not _not _swear when Erik-fucking-Lensherr had just sent you a picture of his smiling face, and then that long neck of his, and then his fucking greek god defined abs and then finally, a picture of his perfectly erected dick.

You do not, not swear at that shit.

Charles fumbled at his phone, mindlessly jabbing at the screen before having enough mind to run through the contact list and call Erik.

Erik picked up on the second dial.

"Charles! Charles you need to… you need to come here right now…"Erik's speech was slurred, his voice hoarse and breathy. "I need you to…" and then Erik giggled. He actually giggled. "I have this problem…"

"You have a problem? I-is it the children, are they alright?"

Charles could practically see the frown on Erik's face when Erik paused for a second or two. "Will you stop worrying about the children, seriously. Seriouslyyyy! I just…. Sean go the fuck away, I'm trying to—okay good. No, if you try that again I am going to break your neck you hear me?" And then Erik came back to the phone and said, "Look, Charles I just wanted ta say that I really need you to… what's that fucking word… shit…"

"Its okay, take all the time you need in the world. Just stay calm and tell me wh—"

The line went dead. _What?_

Seriously, that was so frustrating. And an absolute cocktease too. Before he had the chance to send another message to Erik, a message came in.

**Erik:** _Charles. I can'tt fucking remember thte word. But I know it's really important. Also, my dick feels really good when I move my hand like thiss. Do you knowthat? I'm messaging you while jerking off. I'm a genius. I'm even smarter than you._

(By now all Charles wanted to do was cry into his hands because Erik was jerking off while texting Charles. He was thinking about Charles and pumping that beautiful hard cock of his. Charles could already feel himself getting half hard and wanting more than to go there right now and kiss Erik senseless, pull him down into any available bed and fuck like rabbits. )

**Erik: **_you don't even know the amount of times I've already masturbated to the memory of us in the living rom, playing chess. Oh, Charless._

(Charles whimpered. His breathing was so shallow he had to actually remind himself to breathe for awhile. But really, he couldn't touch himself now, he would feel so horridly ashamed and guilty. Erik probably wouldn't remember a thing when he next woke up but Charles would remember everything.)

**Erik:** _ohh… I remember now. Charles, what I wanted to say was. Come over here right now, and fuck me. ;)_

He was done. Fucking absolutely done.

Charles packed a night's worth of clothing and hailed for a cab.


End file.
